


The Adventures of Sanada and Yagyuu (and Niou) in Home Ec!

by andamiro (arysthaeniru)



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Cooking, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arysthaeniru/pseuds/andamiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn't easy being the only two boys in this class. (In which crack ensues and I have no regrets)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i. Chaos

“BEGONE FOUL BEAST!” bellowed Sanada, his eyes wide and his hands trembling.

Had anyone looked into the Home Economics Room of Rikkai Dai during that sunny day, they would have seen a rather peculiar sight. For one, Sanada-san and Yagyuu-san were wearing frilly girly aprons. That in itself was strange enough, but not too strange for form. After all, they did take Home Economics and had sadistic teammates. 

But the fact that they were cowering in the corner of the room, brandishing a kitchen knife and a tennis racket, was definitely strange. There were rumours that Sanada was afraid of nothing and Yagyuu hadn’t even gotten fazed by the time that Niou had dressed as the girl from The Ring and haunted him all day. 

But perhaps the strangest part of this was what they were cowering from. It was a miscellaneously coloured looking thing that seemed to have originated from the stoves at the other side of the room.

“It’s not alive, it’s not going to go away by you telling it to with enough force!” said Yagyuu, gripping his knife tightly. His hands were shaking and his voice, seemed just a little too blank to be anything but internally panicking. 

Sanada tossed Yagyuu a non-plussed look. “It’s moving. It’s moving towards us with a purpose. What part of that makes you think it _isn’t_ alive?”

“The part where it’s made from cooking materials?” asked Yagyuu, adjusting his glasses with the back of his hand, so as not to let go of his makeshift weapons. There wa flour everywhere, the creature was advancing and the uncomfortable corner felt like it was decreasing in size. 

“It’s your fault, Niou!” yelled Sanada, finally, as he stabbed forward wildly as a warning to the thing. The thing didn't seem too fazed and he pulled his arm back to whack Niou around the head. “Yagyuu’s supposed to be good at cooking! What possessed you to switch with him on the day of the Home Economics Final?”

“Fun? Sabotage? I didn't want to take my History final?!” exclaimed Niou, then cowered back as the thing seemed to draw closer to them. “I didn’t think it would....ohmygod, it’s looking at me.”

“You added Inui Juice to Kanten jelly! And then put tempura pieces and an entire bag of wasabi in there!” glared Sanada. “Of course it was going to come to life with heat!”

“I didn’t know that!” yelled Niou, back.

“Yagyuu would have!” bellowed Sanada, turning to face Niou. Then, he realized that they’d both taken their eyes off the monstrosity and turned around. It had gotten closer and was somewhat taller and lopsided. It had the vague body shape of a human being. The goo on the floor seemed to be helping the creature grow in size. 

“It’s smiling at us. Oh god, it’s smiling at us.” whispered Sanada, his voice utterly terrified.

Both of the boys dropped their weapons in favour for gripping each other tightly and screaming at the top of their lungs, hoping that someone would be able to stop it. 

At that moment, the door opened and an irate looking Yukimura popped his head in. He had paint splodges all over his apron and face and a paintbrush stuck through his make-shift ponytail.

“What... is going here?” he hissed his voice as quiet as a mouse, but as thin as rice-crackers. 

Sanada attempted to explain, but no sound came out. He could only look at the monstrosity in front of him, which grew taller by the instant. His straw-dolls would never compare to this abomination. Yukimura barely seemed to notice it existed.

“We are trying to get our art final done. We have two hours to get a masterpiece made and there is a shortage of paint supplies and my canvas has been shaken by people three times ruining the impressionist piece I was attempting to create.”

He took steps forward, brandishing his finger at the three figures in the room. Sanada and Niou whimpered a little more and cowered even further back into the corner, if it was so possible. 

“Do you know the troubles I had to put up with to get the right reference book I needed? Do you know how many people I had to flirt with to get the right paintbrushes? Do you know the horrors of testing out canvas material within five minutes?” he asked, taking steps forward with each utterance, his face and eyes growing darker and stormier.

Sanada and Niou both shook their heads mutely and numbly. They’d taken music as their elective. They had no clue about art.

“Then shut up. My hardships are not to be disturbed. It’s difficult enough without the three of you being idiots! Get back to work before I call a teacher!” snapped Yukimura.

The monstrosity had turned to look at Yukimura during the whole speech. At those final words, the thing exploded, leaving food splatters all over Niou and Sanada. Despite it being closer to Yukimura, not a single food splatter got onto his apron.

Yukimura turned around, simmering with fury. “You’ll both run one hundred laps at practise today, got it? In addition to the practise laps I give everybody else.” 

“Yes Yukimura-buchou.” they chorused in unison, staring at the mess left in the room. Yukimura was far scarier than any creation of Inui Juice.


	2. ii. Pink

“They’re.....pink.” said Sanada grimly, as he saw the example assignment cakes that the teacher had left on the front-desk. 

Pink was an understatement. That implied that the object was coloured pink. The cake’s essence itself was pink. The icing was a bright, gary neon pink with pink sprinkled and pink candy hearts scattered in the top. The cake itself was dyed a light pink with food colouring and all the free cake wrappers were pink with love hearts and sparkles on them.

Sanada was reminded again, that yes, Home Economics was an elective with 95% of the students being female, and no, he was _not_ female. 

“Why did you take this elective again, Sanada-kun?” asked Yagyuu, his face scrunched up in distaste.

“My mother,” said Sanada, with a sigh, “Insisted that I knew how to cook since she’s fairly certain I’ll be studying in a university away from home. She's convinced that I will starve, otherwise.”

“And I did it because my sister insists that I take turns on cooking with her, and she's awful at cooking.” said Yagyuu, as he picked up the pink recipe sheet with his fingertips, as if holding a dirty tissue. “So we both did it with kind intentions.” 

“That doesn’t stop the torture, though.” muttered Sanada darkly, as he glanced over Yagyuu’s shoulder and started to collect the pans and trays from their station in order to make the dish. “How much flour?”

“There's about...” said Yagyuu, then stopped and groaned. “Sanada-kun, each rendition of this recipe serves 30.” 

Sanada blanched. “We have to make two, right? What are we going to do with 60 bright pink cakes? My family doesn’t eat much sugar....”

Yagyuu shrugged as he started to measure out sugar and eggs. “Mine do not as well. My father is a doctor and my mother is a dentist. We are very health-conscious, whether we like it or not. So neither of our households could.”

“Give it to the tennis club?” asked Sanada, as he preheated the oven and started on mixing the icing. “There are 50 members and the regulars could have two each?”

“No, that would mean that there could be...misunderstandings. Considering the date we’re making it on...” said Yagyuu, blandly, his tone of voice revealing what he didn’t want to put into words. He was a gentleman, after all and he didn’t want to introduce any sorts of uncomfortable ideas between their tennis team members. There were enough awkward misconceptions about the sexuality of the tennis team, without _pink_ cakes on Valentine's Day being added to the mixture. 

“Introduce it as _giri_ sweets?” asked Sanada, with a frown. “Or we could just not make it _as_ pink.”

“Which would dock points from the assignment, since we have to capture both looks and taste.” Yagyuu explained, with a casual shrug, as he finished mixing the cake mixture and started to lay out the cupcake holders in the baking trays, with a barely annoyed look. But Sanada knew that Yagyuu was as irritated about the whole situation as he was. 

Sanada groaned as he rubbed his hands in the towel hanging on the counter of their station. Usually, he just used his apron, but it was also bright pink and frilly. Sanada couldn’t deal with that much pink. In fact, it was starting to hurt his eyes. He wondered if he could be like Yanagi and just shut his eyes for this whole lesson and somehow not kill or burn something. Fat chance.

He wished he were more of a rulebreaker, just so he could text Yanagi about how utterly despicable this was and how the headmaster was obviously still upset about the loss of their third consecutive year. The problem was that was that that Sanada didn’t have a mobile phone and even if he did, it would actually be in his locker, as was required by the rules. And of course, the real problem, was that Yanagi would be sensible about the whole thing and somehow manage to convince Sanada that it wasn’t a conspiracy, _when it obviously was!_

“There, icing done.” he said, as he finished the two batches of icing. Yagyuu had just finished spooning the mixtures into the cake mixes, and neatly deposited the three trays into their oven, before they both momentarily sighed in relief. 

Sanada still lived in fear of the monstrosity that Marui had once created when the two of them had taken the beginner class last year, and how the smell had taken a three whole months to come out of his school-shirt. 

“You wash, I’ll dry and put away?” asked Yagyuu, as he rolled up his sleeves to even lengths, in a way that would minimise creasing to his uniform. 

Sanada just nodded. The monotonous motions were almost enough to make him forget the _pink_ creations that would be emerging from the oven shortly. Almost. Yagyuu was shooting suspicious looks towards the other girls in the class who were squeeing about boyfriend and admirers they were going to give their cakes to. 

He was getting a headache already, from all of the pink around him. He almost pressed a hand to the bridge of his nose to suppress it, before remembering the pink stains of food colouring and the soap suds on his skin. 

“So...what do we do with them?” asked Sanada, as he handed Yagyuu the last knife and rinsed off his hands. 

“Put them outside the club room with a sign for anyone to take them.” said Yagyuu firmly, as he put away the plate with more venom that was strictly necessary. “Those who know, will know. The others will assume that either the girls team or some other admirers left them there.” 

“What if they’re still there afterwards?” asked Sanada, as he peered into the oven to make sure they hadn’t burnt the cakes. 

“Then we’ll give them to a homeless place.” said Yagyuu firmly, as he leant against the microwave. “I’m not taking these... _cakes_ home with me.” He said ‘cakes’ as if he was describing something that deserved to be tortured by Voldemort and dropped in Mount Doom. 

Sanada just nodded firmly. Taking them home was defeat, and almost certain endless teasing from grandfather, nephew and older brother alike. Sanada wasn’t going to let that happen. 

The timer pinged and Sanada slipped on the baking gloves to remove the baking tray. They were all fluffy and perfect. Good. There would be a passing grade for sure. And if they decorated them well, there would be an A in the near future. 

“You take half, I’ll take the other half.” said Sanada grimly. The other girls were experimenting with other edible decorations and love declarations. Not a chance that it would happen in their case. He stuck exactly the the decorations on the example cakes, even making a point to place every sprinkle in exactly the same place as the example cake. 

Yagyuu was a little less precise, but also refused to customize decoration. “Done.” they said in unison. They were finished far before the other girls, so actually managed to clean up and have time left over at the end of class to sit and start on other work. 

Sanada immediately shed the pink apron and pulled out a calligraphy book, where the only colours were black and white. No red, no blue, and definitely no pink. The headache was eased slightly, but the sheer trauma of looking at so much pink wouldn’t go away so easily. 

“After school, you’re dealing with the cakes.” said Sanada, lowly, not looking towards the...things on the side table. Too much pink. “You’ll get out of Morality Council earlier.”

“Then, if there are any left, you deal with them on the way home.” said Yagyuu, doing the same, glasses pulled off and his eyes squeezed shut. “Deal?”

“Deal.” said Sanada, still not meeting the eyes of anything else in the room except his book. 

“I’ll get you some aspirin before the club.” said Yagyuu, noticing Sanada’s wrinkled nose. 

“You can stay the night. Your sister’s room is pink, isn’t it?” asked Sanada, with a shudder. Thank _god_ he didn’t have a niece or a sister. 

“Thanks, Sanada-kun. I might take that offer.” said Yagyuu, with a shudder mimicked by Sanada. Pink. Never again.


End file.
